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Posted January 22, Reviewed by Devon Frye. It must be noted at the outset that there is no such thing as consensual rape. Rape fantasy or rape play involves sexual role-playing in which one partner plays the submissive the victim and the other plays the dominant the attacker.
The behaviors extending from rape fantasy are fully consensual. The terms "rape fantasy," "forced sex fantasy," or "rape play" are misnomers. If an individual is consenting to the sexual behavior, then it is not rape or forced sex.
The turn-on may be the idea of being forced to have sex for many individuals, but they do not actually want to be raped. That being said, consenting to rape fantasy does not make the play any less complicated. There is a whole host of dimensions and dynamics that must be addressed when considering indulging in rape fantasy.
Rape fantasy is more common than you may assume. Bivona, Critelli, and Clark found that 62 percent of participants, consisting of women from two state universities in the southwestern United States, reported having rape fantasies in varying degrees of frequency and type.
Rape fantasies are not all the same. They exist in varying degrees of force.
In its milder forms, it can be a mere matter of surprise, for instance, maybe your partner is waiting for you behind the door of your darkened house when you get home from work. They may even want to be slightly harmed—bruises left behind from their playful resistance or maybe they want to be choked during the role-play. Rape fantasy can consist of everything in between and even push the boundaries of these examples further out. When considering rape fantasy or forced sex role-playing, consent is everything. Partners must determine what the boundaries are before any role-playing of this sort can begin.
Rape roleplay those boundaries are not set, then neither is consent. What is off-limits? Rule out locations. Maybe the house is always open or getting in the car in a dark parking lot, but the workplace is never allowed. And what about specific acts?
Is everything on the table? Maybe any form of penetration is fair game, but punching, choking, or anything that could draw blood is not. There is much to consider when planning forced sex role-playing and all the dynamics of consent. As in all rape roleplay of sexual desires, there are those who will stigmatize anyone who is sexually aroused by rape fantasy. Those who do not find arousal in this form of desire often cannot understand why others would like it.
And, unfortunately, when some individuals are not interested in a particular desire, they act to shame anyone who is. If that partner is not willing to engage in rape fantasies, it all comes down to consent again. Poor communication on this subject can end a relationship or prevent the beginning of one.
Not everyone is comfortable with rape fantasy. One of my participants female, age 23 relayed her issues with potential partners:. Willing to try anything. I like it rough. Push me around, slap me, choke me, if you leave a little bruise, it means you love me. Rape roleplay may be the impetus behind being aroused by rape fantasy? Several internal factors came up in my research. A few of those included:. Rape fantasy is vastly complex in its structure and social dynamics. Psychological and social implications are expansive. More research certainly needs to focus on this topic, despite it being an uncomfortable one for some.
And the misconceptions about rape fantasy, and those who engage in it, need to be dissolved. For the purpose of sexual well-being, what needs to be understood is that rape fantasy involves consent and that those who are aroused by it do not actually want to be raped.
More often than not, those who report having rape fantasies have a positive sexual attitude and a high level of sexual confidence. Bivona, J. Archive of Sexual Behaviors, 41 1 David W. Wahl, Ph. His work focuses on issues related to sexual desire and behavior, shaming and stigmatization, sex and gender, sexual violence, sex work, and human trafficking.
Wahl Ph. This Sexual Self. Understanding and Indulging in Rape Fantasy Explaining the dynamics of forced sex desires and play. References Bivona, J. Lehmiller, J. Tell me what you want. About the Author. Online: FacebookTwitter. Read Next. Back Rape roleplay Today.
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Exploring the Rape Fantasy